Drowning Thoughts

It was 3am in the morning.

He was drunk and both of us decided that we had to send him home – despite what everyone else was saying.

The mindless chatter that was occurring around me was getting to me. I didn’t like that I was the only one who wanted to do it.

He was right about who was ‘poor’. At that time I could see it.

I couldn’t stand it.

Mustering all the courage that I had in me while I was high, I spoke.

I told them the rational thing to do.

I told them to leave because honestly, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway.

I came back and you were there, with him.

Was trying to keep calm and not let the anger get to my head.

Thank you for making me laugh at that point of time.

The way you understood and took the cue.

It was time, and we had to leave.

People were staring and watching. Some, judging.

Some were laughing.

We carried him on each side and walked to hail a cab.

Finally we got on one.

I sat beside him and you, beside me.

Took us awhile before we finally reached.

He got home and we got back into the cab.

We sat with our bodies pressed against each other.

I felt the urge to ask the question that I had always been afraid to ask – the question I had always been curious about.

I felt the words leave my mouth when you looked at me in my eyes and told me to just do it.

I wasn’t sure it was right when your facial expression changed – you were different.

You told me it lasted for 4 years.

And that she had depression and anxiety, and you were her outlet to express herself.

You took it all in – and that was it; you took it again, again, and again.

You said you did love her with all you had.

But at the end she took all that you had from you.

You didn’t have anything left.

That was when I realised.

I really hope you know that, you WERE enough.

And here’s wishing you happiness because more than anyone else – you truly deserve it.

Drowning Thoughts

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