Carrying Sadness

Today at work, a colleague asked me, “Elfin, why do you look so sad all the time?”

I lied and said it was just my resting face and that I couldn’t do anything about it.

But I knew it was simply because I was sad.

Sometimes I wish I had a poker face so that nobody could tell I was sad. I’m trying my best but this place wears me down every single day. There’d be days when I’d go by leaving the office with tears in my eyes because everything was too much for me. The lack of love in the air. The inability to blend in. To find a person I could relate to.

Sometimes I wish I could be invisible. To go to a place where I could simply do my things in complete silence. I’m sick of carrying the weight of it all.

I hate it when people try to tell me or ask me stuff that carries the underlying meaning of, “why can’t you just be happy?”. If only I knew the reasons why.

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Carrying Sadness